i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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