Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
