We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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