the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
