Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
