i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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