ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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