i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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