1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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