You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
