I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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