I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
