i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize