Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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