Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
