worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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