Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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