White coat. Heels.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
