So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So vagazzling was a success
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
