Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
