I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
