I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
