whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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