so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I cannot find my penis.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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