Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
