I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
