I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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