She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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