I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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