I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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