I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
