So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
