she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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