You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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