its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize