it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
