Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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