I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
