New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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