Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
