I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
