You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
