I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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