is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
