O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
