im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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