We're facebook friends in real life
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
