Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
