i permit you to call me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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