Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
