On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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