I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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