He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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