She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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