Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
