i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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