you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
