I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize