Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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